Knitting Bones Back Together

Right now I should be grading papers for both of the classes I am teaching this semester. A quick glance at one stack of them indicates that the students did learn something about how to analyze poetry for form. Pretty exciting stuff for a teacher. The other stack I've avoided. Those students too seem to be learning. They're learning how to structure works of nonfiction in a way that intrigues the reader so that she wants to continue reading. They're also doing a good job. But I can't dive into that stack of grading right now. I need a nap.The truth is that this semester has been kind of rough.

First, there was Hurricane Irene, which damaged my roof and showed me that, for the most part, it's every woman for herself. Joking about being left behind by those I called to warn about the approaching hurricane would be in my nature. And I have joked about it. But I went through my first hurricane alone with my cats while friends who chose to flee mocked me for being afraid. It was one of those life-altering experiences in which I chose to feel grateful for Skype and for the fact that I somehow I never lost power. But friends? I did lose a couple. Actually, I realized that I never had them. That hurt in a way that losing part of my roof didn't.

Then I broke my toe while engaging in the high-risk activity of walking around my apartment. I'm limping around with a special wide shoe that is part Birkenstock and part flipper. The good thing is that it doesn't hurt too much. It could have been a lot worse. I could've broken a toe on my driving foot. I could have broken my foot. I'm grateful that I can limp and still get to most classes. I'm especially grateful for my friend who came to my house with some groceries, including some gourmet coffee from San Francisco. She baked me a sweet potato and offered to unload my dishwasher. Since relocating to the South, I'd had only one truly good cup of coffee prior to that day. It was dark and full with no cigarette butt aftertaste. And sweetened with a bit of stevia, it went down easy. Like empathy -- something that's been mostly missing this semester.

Do I sound like I'm having a pity party? If I do, trust me when I say that it's temporary. Change is difficult sometimes. It hurts. Like congested sinuses, which I also have at the moment due to a head cold. I think I am still too young to describe myself as "a tough old bird." However, I am resilient. And it is my belief that each setback is a chance to transmute poison into power. Right now, I am still in the murky, in-between stage. The messy one that requires that I get extra sleep and take baths instead of trying to fit into a box which can no longer contain me.

I see many blessings already. They pop up before me like daisies in the form of new friendships and new professional opportunities. New insights.  In a few weeks, I will remove this ugly-ass flipper-sandal and walk on my left foot without limping. Wait. Let me correct that. I will remove this ugly-ass flipper sandal and sashay. Away. (Thanks, RuPaul.)